Day 240 Say it with me: NO!

We are not trying to please people, but God, who tests our hearts. 1Thessalonians 2:4b

I want to say yes. I want to serve others. I want to make other people happy. After being born into and brought up in the church, saying yes is almost instinct: it seems so Christian. 

But, since it is basically impossible to do everything at once, every time you say yes, you are almost always also saying no to something else. And by saying yes, we can unintentionally say no to the things that matter most.

It can be really hard to say no--to people you love or a request that seems like an easy yes. But we can progress at learning to say no with love.

Here’s an email dialogue I saw this week as an example in one of my devotions:

Colleague: Hi, Ann. On Monday night October 15, we are having a church membership class. Would you be able to come and speak so we can video you for use in future classes?

Me: Hi! Thanks for asking! Can you please give me another date? Monday is my day off, and I will have just returned from a conference where I will have gotten very little sleep. I may actually be dead that day.

Colleague: Don’t make me tell you that Pastor Rick is coming in on his day off!!! Unfortunately, it’s the only date we can do it. Come on sweetie, please?

Me: If guilt techniques worked on me, I wouldn’t have lasted this long...and I’d probably have a boring job like yours. Let me give you an answer in my bilingual tongue and communicate it in many different languages: No.

Believe me, I completely understand how difficult it is to say no to conniving, weasel-like, manipulating family, friends, or colleagues like this who use multiple exclamation points to try to get their way.

With that particular request, a yes response to teach during that membership class would have become a no to several more important things: to my Sabbath, to rest and reflection, to my family.

Quite frankly, my work responsibilities require me to say no to my friends and family more than enough already. Therefore when I have the choice, I will say no to many opportunities and requests (many of which are good and meaningful) so I can say yes to what matters most.

We can all learn to say no! Most of the time, we really do have the choice. When we say no, we may run the risks of missing a great opportunity or of not being asked again. But, almost always we have the choice to say yes to what matters most. What will you choose?